get jark'd

Strawberry Rose Bush

The rose bushes are among the strawberries

We are scraped while we eat the red sweets

A rainbow of color and blood amid a sugary treat


You’re like this diamond

And I’ve got you a gem shine

Ohhh we’re amid the red light

Dripping down the sheets of white

Hanging on the clothesline


Lick the salts off your wounds

And wonder what it might have been

If we had seen eye to eye before an eye for an eye

An apocalyptic calypso dancing before our eyes


Tickling the piano keys in the background

We all group together to remind ourselves

Of the collective emotions

And the hindsight cautions


You’re like this diamond

And I’ve got you a gem shine

Ohhh we’re amid the red light

Dripping down the sheets of white

Hanging on the clothesline


Amid our chorus is a fear of true

We’re burdened with what we tell is you

Fix that dream, bring them tight

We’ve got everything we want

And anything’s a delight


There are lots of times when I miss the olden days

Back in college I was the man or at least that’s what I told myself every day

Lots of cocky confidence in every DHall and dorm room.

Classes of higher learning – yeah that’s what made it so memorable

Walking to class from my last class hoping to stumble into a nice piece of

As if that’s what it was all about, the adventure being paid for with a down payment on a house, a tuition that steadied society’s attrition


Party after party, they were all so important to us weren’t they?

All those late nights playing beer pong guzzling away brain cells night after night

Waging war on our livers and bodies like it was an untold Cold War

I met so many interesting people and had so many amazing conversations

Didn’t you too, do you ever wonder if you left your mark on someone that you forgot

Well forgot who they were sure, but you’re definitely their Facebook friend – because it’s important to know whether you’re better than them or they better than you


Brotherhood and sisterhood, bonds so strong they lasted a minute and a half

Before the next bestie came up and introduced you to a mindblowing new way to think about the world

Grades and papers were second fiddle, though they did keep us all gainfully employed at writing up an excuse for why these moments were so dire in our life


Every week you looked forward to the next conquest, hoping to mount that Everlast of pussy that would gain you more than a high five and a spent condom

But in reality, was it the day-to-day experience of just living in an environment that would define your next part of life the most important?


And at the end of the day, no matter who was in the Frat or the Sorority

All you’re left with is this set of experiences and a piece of paper

A piece of paper that says for the rest of my life my experiences are more important than some others experiences

And as those memories fade, the experiences are changed and enlightened, the ink on that piece of paper doesn’t change and does that mean it’s special or just a checkmark?

Wearing a Condom Adds an Extra 30 Seconds of Love

I sat down to write a poem today.

What should I write about I pondered?

So many topics, good and bad.

I could be funny, sarcastic, surprising, loving, or hating.

All the choices in the world.

But I was pressed for time, gotta rush my thoughts out of my brain and onto paper.


What do I do well but do fast?


Exactly, I’m gonna write a poem about what I can do decently and damn quickly.

I’ll bang it out real fast.

In and out, so to speak.

You get the idea.


Ok so thinking about it, making love takes longer, there’s all that foreplay.

Plus emotions and like talking and stuff.

You know, what you’re completely interested in undertaking at 9pm on a weekday night.

But when you have kids and you know they’re asleep

And you gotta wake up early tomorrow, sometimes you just gotta fuck.


So let’s see, how do we go about writing a poem about this.

I can skip foreplay, poetic verses and nuance and get to the damn point, right?

No alliteration, no surprises or twists, it’s just boom slap some pen to paper.

A burst forth straight to the denouement a hop skip and a jump past the obvious, ya know.


It’s like rolling up your sleeves and then realizing shit, I should just take off this shirt.

It’s faster and more efficient, gets the job done.


Hmm, I wonder if anyone has ever eaten an In-and-Out Burger while doing the old in-and-out?

I won’t even start to think about Five Guys because that kind of a gangbang…well you get the point.

Mental note for future, consider eating fast food while fast fucking.

And try not to get any mayo anywhere it might be mistaken for.


Come as you are, man that was a great song, never fucked to it.

It’s kinda medium paced so it might not suit this mood

But it is fucking moody enough.

Haha, that sounded funny for some reason. Why do I always act like a 19 year old?

People always telling me they fucked to Closer by Nine Inch Nails but I don’t know…




Wow I just got way off topic, we’re talking about sex now!

Or is it fucking, is it offensive to say fucking when it’s all fast and no passion?

I don’t think so, but I’m a guy and I’m pretty much just mentally high fiving myself that I’m having sex in the first place, so yeah mental note for the future, find out if the f-word is a bad thing. Noted.


The best thing about the quick bang bang is not that you’re making some ridiculous comparison to a shot out of a gun, like a money shot that you are never going to attempt because you would get clobbered and who the fuck wants that aggravation let alone, it’s that it gets the job done and taken care of.

ok, stop, back to topic at hand. (hehe if I keep this shit up, it may have to end up “IN HAND”).


But no the best thing is the way you get undressed and than redressed.

Half the time you wind up with a sock on, and maybe even a shirt.

You might not have wasted time for the bra to be off and then there’s the whole thong repositioning thing.

Then after those excellent two minutes of your life that helped you burn an amazing 20 calories and a load, you throw your clothes back on and have a good 50% chance of having something inside out or backwards.


But then there’s proof positive of your conquest, you know, the next morning when you’re looking in the mirror and saying, well that was fun I guess, realizing that it was half a second of your life.


And wait I was writing a poem. Shit.

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